The other day I got a letter from Cornerstone University, letting me know that a pro-gay religious group called Soulforce was planning a campus visit—and that Cornerstone had no plans to roll out the welcome mat.

Cards on the table… I graduated from Grand Rapids Theological Seminary (which is part of Cornerstone) five years ago. I happen to share their belief that human sexuality is a gift from God, meant to be expressed between a man and woman in a monogamous, covenant relationship.

I also believe the second greatest command in all of scripture is to “love your neighbor” (which Jesus said is like the greatest command, to love God)—and that our “neighbor,” as defined by Jesus, is the very person we are most likely to fear, hate, resent, etc. After all, that’s how Jesus’ audience viewed the Samaritan, the hero of Jesus’ most famous parable.

So what should an evangelical university do when the gay community pays a visit?

According to Cornerstone’s letter, Soulforce is a group “whose purpose is to undermine and destroy the biblical values we affirm.” Cornerstone defended their decision to say no to Soulforce’s visit by making a distinction between “how we may respond to a person… versus how we may respond to an organization.”

And when two Soulforce members showed up anyway (after they gave the university advance notice), they were arrested for trespassing. According to Cornerstone’s president, Soulforce is “not really interested in dialogue; they want media visuals. They want to be seen being arrested. They like being portrayed as victims.”

I have three questions for my alma mater (and all of us who wrestle with how to disagree without being disagreeable)…

1) Do we have the right to attribute motive to the people we disagree with? It’s one thing to say that someone’s beliefs and behaviors contradict our understanding of the Bible. But when we accuse someone of deliberately undermining biblical values, have we crossed a line? Have we begun to judge hearts and minds, which is God’s prerogative alone? Have we violated Jesus’ command to “judge not, lest [we] be judged”?

2) Is it really that easy to separate our response to an organization from our response to a person? I’m not aware of any person-less organizations. Can we really give the cold shoulder to a group like Soulforce and still love—I mean really love, not just tolerate—the people who belong to Soulforce? Or, after a while, do we risk becoming like those who use the cliche “love the sinner, hate the sin” as an excuse to say whatever they want about the “sinner”?

3) Is it really fair to say that Soulforce is interested in theatrics and not dialogue? I’m not going to rule out the possibility that theatrics were part of their strategy. But how do you explain the dialogue that has taken place at schools like Seattle Pacific University (not far from where I now live) and Calvin College (just down the street from Cornerstone)—schools that found a way to welcome Soulforce without necessarily compromising their evangelical convictions?

Two final comments. First, it should be noted that not everyone at Cornerstone agreed with the school’s handling of the Soulforce visit. The Grand Rapids Press reported that some CU students met with the Soulforce delegation off-campus… a professor even brought lunch to the visitors. Maybe that’s what “love your neighbor” looks like.